So something I’ve started noticing with moving back in with my mom (of which my walls were always famous by their year) is that as much as I decorate differently I still can’t alter a way of myself. I’m also pretty stationed in one place living here again but in terms of my blogging I had started using Shop For Days for the bulk of it but after I moved in with my dad there was a lot about me that was changing. I even have been looking back at specific articles of clothing I have pictures of and it doesn’t pull me down but it has trouble being the lift. So what lifts me these days is actually pretty inspiring, like even though these editors got weirder and I don’t know how to use them I still have a whole 2019 year of pictures of myself to post but I’m not sure how to jolt back to it. They’re all at that apartment. I went to this Remedy place this summer and it helped my skin and muscle so much and even though I haven’t done a drug since I got back I still feel weighted, like it’s October and I started taking pictures of myself at my moms again but I’m excited about something that I can’t wrap my finger around. So as belated as it is it’s not going to change in the way that I thought it would. Whatever this ‘it’ it is. So in terms of writing verses the pictures I guess I’m inspired enough but posting anything I guess is good considering the caches on both blogs. So I turn 22 next month and I haven’t once been to a bar in my life legally so the amount of concerts I’ve been to is changable but not that helpful. Like the post ALTAR-ing Life or whatever was one of my most recent and it’s relatable right now because life does change. And I want to be the one to change it. And I have friends that want to help me. But who I am isn’t the only thing I have. Doesn’t matter what makeup or clothes, I’ll handle it. And those people that need my help have praise for it. To show counting, the concert thing, if I go see JoJo in November then that would help something, but it’s like the 16th and I never got tired between Halloween and Christmas of candy because I’d get presents in November. But the days are quicker and hopefully I can get back on my feet without mentioning something. But I just now am, despite which blog it is. I’m still mentioning things. So it shouldn’t matter what I do with it.
Another thing is one of the last or only friends I’ve hung out with since the Remedy place was Sophia & Heather, and I thought that was way more helpful than the vampires & zombies. For some reason I don’t need control or friends like that but I have something. So no matter what time of year (I consider it my time) and no matter what I’ve written since I started doing those things, I have the power to change all that. Like if I’m that inspired now, I mean. So in terms of writing I’m still working on getting back to Shop For Days but these days it doesn’t matter that much. I might even just keep taking pictures for Celebrity Merch Base or something. Who cares. I’m apt to changing if that’s even enough for it. All for it. Hopefully I get something for my birthday that will change how I feel wearing clothes. That’s something I could fetch for. And my dad always there for me, there’s something about him that I want to pray about. Same with Jessie. Like the altar, or it’s changed. Changed for me, for us. I guess it’s not that different. Even sex used to make scriptable sense, actually. I really know how to help a person by knowing them. That’s a try. I’ve even heard Lana Del Rey write something I couldn’t read about. What that is beyond a blessing is a type of allow. It’s lucky to understand a feed when you’re strolling. Not that easy for desire. Royal Desire is a perfume that I’ve had for a long time and just now lucky 22’d that I’d love it the most coming up, so that’s a beautiful change of heart. And to everything I’ve written in 2016 or 2017, I love you Abby. And to Ally and Matt who I used to write about as ex-girlfriend/boyfriends, it’s a dear. I hope time doesn’t fuck them up. It did for our terms, some could see. But oh well. I guess I don’t need to stay.
That’s not supposed to mean more than you’d think but if you’re sure that you know of me, see if you can help me. And that’s it. Hope you get what you want, out the back, or either way. 🙂