Bebe Started It

So all the sudden this incredible person was thrown into my life and everything changes, and my daily horoscopes are as excited as I are. This is quite a story, and honestly, it all started when I was hanging with Bebe Rexha in her VIP Lounge before the show, which quickly became my favorite concert experience I’ve ever had (well including the entire night not just meeting her) but then my VIP friends and I stood in front of the stage, front row, and up comes this really cute boy and he’s like “Hi! I’m Danon.” Instantly I thought he was cool and I don’t know why, but we were just making small talk while we waited for Marc E. Bassy to start his set, and the whole thing was so fun. And when Bebe came out holy crap SO fun and her sparkly outfit was so sparkly! Lots of dancing! Calves still hurt a bit but him and I were up against the gate and it was AWESOME. Song of the night, Black Jeep by Marc E. Bassy. – Monday, October 16th, 2017

The next day, Danon and I decided to go to Alison Wonderland, he bought two tickets! I was so stoked because it was this coming up Friday and it was a spontaneous fun concert adventure idea! Because like I don’t know, I just thought this kid was super cool, and he totally is. For some reason he thinks I’m cool. So he decided he wanted to party at a concert again with me, so yeah on this Monday we were excited about Friday. – Relatable song of the day, Hitchhiker by Demi Lovato lol – Monday October 17th, 2017

And no, it doesn’t stop there. This isn’t a plain, definable story this is a weird life story because the next thing that happened is I had a seizure on Wednesday, one that terrified the shit out of me, I was in the car, and honestly it’s changed my sense of reality. We were on our way to my dad’s chiropractor appointment FINALLY after years of me going every week he was FINALLY GOING and then I had to have a seizure in the car. Basically I was just talking to him in the car and then the next thing I knew we were pulled over and my tongue was bleeding and blah blah… it was really scary. Went to the hospital, they did a million tests, saw nothing wrong, put me on an anti-seizure medication and said that I shouldn’t worry because a lot of people never have seizures again after starting that. But it just really threw me off, coming to after blacking out and not remembering or knowing anything that was going on…That shit changes you, but I think even if it changes my direction then it still isn’t going to affect the perfect cocktail of effort I put into the direction. You know? Lol but yeah but the seizure happened on – Wednesday, October 18th, 2017

Crazy story about the day after that. You see, after my Babes photoshoot with Syerra a month ago, well I had put together another really cute outfit idea that day that we never got to and then I never had a chance to shoot it with her or anyone or in general for I guess a full month but after the seizure kinda crampin’ my style I was like “You know what? Today is finally going to be a day I shoot this damn outfit!” Because it was a damn good idea! And it turned out damn good too! I call it darkkvixen, which was my username on instagram when I was 15 and everyone thought it was hilarious so now it’s the name of my spam insta; but it’s also perfect for this outfit. It’s a perfect statement, the look says a lot about me, it makes me feel hopeful and undefeated, and it makes me see my own power and learn how to use it and grasp it and appreciate it. So yeah this shoot was nothing except for some pics that are gonna be posted here but it was so much more than that overall! I’ll post more of this shoot at the end of this post, but here’s 3 gems. Song of the Shoot: Confident by Demi Lovato – Thursday, October 19th, 2017

It was the day of Alison Wonderland but not before some Serious Pie! Omg that place is amazing, we went there and ate a ton of italian pizza, and then we went to The Showbox in Seattle to see Alison. We were front row again, up against the gate, and it was totally fun. It started out pretty cool with Elohim as an opener, and then when Alison started playing, at one point she just kept diving into the crowd! She did it like 2-3 times! Like just plunging backwards! Apparently it was for a music video and holy shit that’s going to be SO COOL! It was so amazing to be standing next to that while it happened! I feel like wherever I go, whenever Danon’s there, things get really super cool and I’m not even sure how. Like what are the odds? Song of the Night: Messiah by Alison Wonderland – Friday, October 20th, 2017

He took me on a Nektar date. You actually read that right, he took me to Nektar, Fresh the Juice Bar, AKA the BEST place in the ENTIRE WORLD. I think he totally agrees. Hanging with him is really natural for some reason and we were heading to my house until my bro was like “can you get chocolate chips” so for some reason we even went on a chocolate chip adventure? Then watched BoJack and Benchwarmers and stuff on my couch and it was hilarious and chill and blah blah fun fact I don’t feel like writing right now, I wrote the majority of this blog post earlier this week and now I’m trying to be as enthusiastic but like…It’s okay if you don’t understand quite how awesome he is, because I understand, that means I get to hog his awesomeness. Hahahaha. See that would usually be like an “evil” laugh but you know that I giggle like crazy around you LOL I legit can never stop! I think it’s because it’s cute! Isn’t it confusing how I’m switching second and third persons so randomly? ANYWAY We kinda hung with my fam too and my mom totally adores him. She calls him “DaeDae”…. And spells it like that… idk why – Sunday October 22nd, 2017 (but written on Saturday the 28th cuz I gotta wrap this shit up now)

Cleaned out the garage with mom just to get a desk out of there, and it was totally adorable and fun, and we also went to Nektar. Also realized that it was scorpio season this morning like yesterday (the 23rd) is when it started and that’s when I just so happened to put my Scorpio necklace on, which is weird, usually I don’t ever wear jewelry, and apparently I timed it fuckin perfect. I love being a Scorpio! LEt me define us… – Tuesday, October 24th, 2017

A lot of my warped-sense of reality has to do with starting an anti-seizure medication that the emergency room docs prescribed me, and we all remember my 2015 posts about starting new meds, yikes hahaha. I’m a LOT better at those kinds of transitions now because I’ve been doing very very well lately, but I think this stumble is a good thing and I’m slowly adjusting to life again. But I almost feel… Really moved by the entire experience. I haven’t worked out since like the day before it happened. Thursday October 26th, 2017

No worries because I totally worked out hard on Friday. SO good to be back! Danon knows how much energy I have balled up, running back and forth in my driveway and shit… And you know what else? Friday, last night, I saw Kesha. One of my biggest lemmings (meaning I’ve wanted to see her more than like anyone at all since Rainbow came out, and it quickly became my favorite album of the year and of all time) and I finally saw her! I was pretty close at first then surrendered to the back when it was made clear that this wave of people were going to suck all the hydration out of me because I was starving and SO SO thirsty and had to leave to get water. Lol. So there’s my justification, and it’s valid. I went and grabbed a water for $2, thank the Showbox for it’s concessions and awesomeness, it’s my favorite venue of all time hands down. Anyway, I’ll write more about Kesha in my Kesha blog post next week. – Friday, October 27th 2017

Okay so basically (this is random) the Showbox SoDo is my favorite place of my entire life history. It is where I stood on the side of the stage next to Seether when they were my favorite band, standing there talking to Dale while people got destroyed in the crowd; it was the Showbox SoDo where I met Bebe Rexha AND Danon on the same night and now Kesha? Holy shit! And that’s only a tiny amount of how much of my life I owe to them. They’re incredible. So yes now my life is complete and honestly I feel grown, I feel ready to move forward, and I also feel hungry. So here I am, just sitting here, trying to finish this blog post, but not really sure what it needs to be finished. I should “probably” add more pictures, and more descriptions and stuff, but I don’t really feel the need to. I’m at this point in my life now where everything feels natural and flows beautifully…I love that Danon asks me questions (and I ask him some) and comes up with fun ideas (and I do too) because for once in my life there’s more than just me coming up with the motherfuckin ideas! Like in every situation people are so withdrawn, nobody gives a fuck. But this is fun. This is exactly how life should be, and that’s even what my mom said, and pretty much what my dad said. Yep, that is a big deal. No, it isn’t stressful, it’s fun and relaxing. And real!!- Saturday October 28th, 2017

I’m gonna stop this mess and get realer. I’ve been meditating over a lot of different things lately. First it was my throat chakra with my communication, and it helped me be more understanding with my conversations (thus making it a two-way conversation instead of just one person talking and the other person waiting for their turn to respond) and I’ve been meditating on my sacral chakra, which became a whole thing too. I feel like days after meditating on this, I felt more passionate (you could even say alive), almost in a way that would typically feel out of control but I felt COMPLETE peace, relaxation, reassurance, naturalness and still was able to feel the loud and proud antics. It’s almost like drugs. And this weekend, I’ve been meditating on my heart chakra, in hopes to strengthen the love around me, towards me, from me, radiating around me, in me, etc. I basically live in Rose Quartz, I keep it everywhere, my pillowcase, purse, vanity, necklace, tableside drawer, and even on the mirror next to my Kesha candle. Wow I didn’t even realize I had THAT much Rose Quartz (and probably more) in my room but that probably explains why I get so much loving vibes! I LOVE the vibes of my room, it’s so homely. It’s exactly where I wanna be and feel and think. I want to be a stronger person and I believe a person is only as strong as they are compassionate, which is kinda wacko. But you know, a better quote is from Buddha, something about saying ‘don’t speak unless what you have to say is more beautiful than the silence’ so there you go.

So a couple days ago I decided fear was a choice. Went around telling everyone that fear was a self-proclaimed choice. I got a few “good for you” looks. I smiled. I did things that scared me, a LITTLE hesitantly, but not resistantly. I did things that were healthy, I did things that were courageous, I followed my instinct, and my intuition is on FIRE lately so that did help, but yeah. I decided to be fearless. But I told my dad it’s not like I can be so fear-free forever, one day I’m gonna kinda crack down…But honestly, in this moment, the fact that I have control over it is rad, and it’s BEAUTIFUL and it’s possible to face your fears, no matter how big or small. But do NOT mix that up with being reckless, because we all need fear in our intuition in order to make the correct choices ya know? I just feel so like… alive, and I’m so glad I’m not hiding, especially because I used to hide in social situations like this. I would get scared and jump ship. I ain’t doing that.

…Instead, I carve spaceships into pumpkins with this cute person and relax in life. It’s liberating. “I watch my life forward and backwards, and I feel free.”

Did I dazzle you?