broken

I don’t think there’s anything in this world that could make me worry more than losing you. Everything about you is my home. Maybe that’s why we need to be apart…Maybe you need to be happy on your own before being with me. Maybe you shouldn’t be with me at all. But when I’m talking to you all about our relationship and your doubts, just know that my heart is shattering in a thousand pieces. I’m not upset that I’m losing you in general I’m just more upset that I’m really not making you happy these days. Because that’s all I ever want to do! Because it is not just about me. It’s about us. I love you to death, and I just want you to be happy.

I’m kind of crazy sometimes. I do questionable things. But it breaks my heart to think you ever doubt my love. Because when I think of you, my heart feels warm. When I lay on your chest and feel your heart beating and I feel how real and alive you are, it’s all I ever need. It’s all I could ever want. I want to hold you, I want to love you, I want to be with you always. Every second of every day all I want is to be next to you, talking to you and making stupid jokes while you tell me about your day. Whenever my name shows up on your phone I want you to feel the warmth that I feel, and I never want you to be worried because wow I say such horrible things. But I shouldn’t…I don’t regret anything in this life more than I regret not being good to you. You deserve so much, you deserve to be so happy and you deserve to feel secure. I would do anything for you my love, even if that means losing you. Because I will cry everyday, but there will be a part of me that tells me that you’ll be better off without me and that’s what will keep me going. I just need to know everyday that you’re in the best situation that you can be in.

No words will ever be enough to explain to you how I feel. I love you so much and it hurts so badly to think that I’m losing you. But maybe you’ll be happier without me dragging you down.

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