Insecurity is the New Lethargy

What are we to each other? One minute you’ll be hugging and the next you could be slandered. One minute you call up your best friend, the next minute she spreads rumors and laughs at you, while also laughing at your plea to hangout again. One minute you could be sitting in the lap of your beautiful close friend on a sunny day, and the next you’re crying into a different friends’ shoulder at your close friends funeral.

I’m not trying to be morbid, those are just things I’ve experienced in my personal life. But why? Does life’s current really slam us back and forth into different walls of hardship and then rip everything away that we have grown to cherish? It’s like contagion, one person dislikes you and by tumors another one does and so on, yet at the same time, who cares? Why would we care? What makes us despise the thought of ever being anything similar to helpless, while we wreak havoc in our lives just to prevent that. A lot of times we destroy ourselves, unaware of the dangers we are ignoring the warnings of.

Okay but why?! Why?! What makes us so ignorant, so self contrived, fake, and vulnerable? I am helpless in many situations, though I am a strong being. There’s no reason to worry this much over (literally) not a thing.

Love is like taking everything you’re afraid of and risking it. Like the time Zoidberg on Futurama won tons and tons at poker then bet everything and lost like what, $11 mill? That’s love. You lose everything you’ve created or been lucky to have be given in your life or you just grow more. Why do we risk this? Is it because humans need outlets? I do. I need someone to tell all my insecurities to and have been reassured a hundred times, while they don’t even mind. Assuming everyone hates me was like a lobotomy of insecurity in grade 5, I don’t know how to live like a secure person. This is why people need people, if they don’t talk these things out then they might implode into nothingness. Blogging just enough is very beneficial in that area to me, although it can’t replace holding a soft warm human being that are all so silly.

I guess I never really had a point. I just went from the happiest few days to the most lethargic and torturous. I really am worrying just too much.

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