What Goes Up…

There’s no such thing as the “right” decision. Everything is going to eventually turn out wrong anyway. Wow do I sound like a pessimist! Which I actually think is pretty funny. People and their pessimism. What goes up must come down. They believe that but yet they want to believe that one decision will change their life forever and create a path with no pain. THAT’s idiotic. Yes, there are decisions that have better outcomes than others, but we’re never going to know which is which. It takes years of learning about ourselves and our preferences and our comfort level to be able to pick the possibly-happier option more often. It’s like chance, are you going to be miserable in this amount of time or this amount of time?

But that shouldn’t steer anyone clear of certain decisions and/or living. If you’re anything like me, this fact will give you security. Because if something turns out horribly, you know it’s impossible for you to stay sad about it forever, because the only thing I’m sure of in this universe is that things change. Nothing is ever the same. If something is horrible it will get better. If something get’s better, who knows how long it will last? But that’s where all the talk about perfect lives comes in. It’s all bull, and we know that. I’m a strong believer of yin and yang and am always seeing the effects. With my decisions I make on a daily basis I see how the world evens itself out. Not a lot of people believe in the equality of light and dark but I do. For each individual person there is a yin and yang view. If you took everything that ever happened to you in put it into some celestial calculator, I believe it would be equal on the good you felt and the bad it felt. Of course, this is going to be very different for everyone. There’s also the fact of intensity and frequency that come into play, and a lot of more complication. But I choose to believe this.

Believing this makes it easier for me, when I’m sad, to see the light. Because I believe in rationality and realism, which is hard for someone with a psychotic disorder, but that’s why I choose so faithfully to turn to it. Living in irrationally makes me appreciate rationality so much. It’s irrational to think that everything is going to stay bad forever. And even though you might think it’s pessimistic to expect the bad, I don’t, because it’s not like I think I’m immediately going to always be upset, but I do know that things will always turn upside-down at some point and some how this view is like a security blanket for me. I know not everything will work out, so I’m not as surprised when things go wrong. I just sigh a little and try my best to get a good perspective to make my next move. It’s like chess but the end is a tie. Can that even happen in chess? I think it can in checkers. Let’s go with checkers. Just remember, every decision has a different outcome, but don’t stress yourself out thinking it’s a live or die situation. Most of them aren’t.


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