iI feel like right now I need to write. I’m so content and I feel so confident in every aspect. I feel more compassionate than I ever have. Smoking a small amount of pot and then drinking a Just Chill is like a signature Abby thing, and every time it’s so amazing. I like to get high sometimes, I like to get super high sometimes, and sometimes I’m way too content and happy to even remember drugs. It’s a real thing! But it doesn’t matter what I think or do with drugs, because I’m worth just as much in this zen state as I am in my sober zen state. It’s just different, I’ve worked so incredibly hard on my life and I really put all the pieces together, I really nailed it! Holy fuck I’m excited for life!
“No ties, no drama in my life, I woke up like this” that lyric played while I was typing that. It’s so fitting! I’ve been listening to full albums today.—–Britney, stripped, last year was complicated.
Got distracted petting milkshake for like half and hour. But I’m sitting on my deck in hoochie shorts, ignoring the grossness of that and I was petting Milkshake for days. Because whenever I’m sitting on the porch outside Milkshake usually is near by and then sees me and greets me with a meow and she sat in the shade of the potted plant that I was sitting next to. We were both sitting in the sun but not direct sun, a little shaded, and I always forget that she really is me like she’s part of my soul. I pet her all the silly ways that she specifically likes and we communicated in our close way as I sat on this porch. I’m high off of only one bowl man. So I grabbed a Just Chill and bam I’m actually able to start writing here right now, it is such a perfect state. I love the sun and the breeze and there’s absolutely nobody home. I live with 5 people and they’re all gone. That means I’m turning up the music and connecting with the vibe and sitting in weird positions so that I could tan the under part of my legs instead of just seated position, lol.
This is time where I’m wearing something “inappropriate” but nobody is here to comment on it. Nobody is here and I’m with myself and I feel less alone than I ever have in my life! I’m so content! Is it the kombucha? Heart chakra essence?
Right now “Don’t Make Me Choose” by Nick Jonas is sounding from my Bose mini soundlink, and I’m loving it. I got a Rio Berry Just Chill in my arm, a smoothie in the fridge, and my mind is at ease. I don’t know how I got here, but my days are becoming unreal. Maybe it’s all the meditation music? Maybe the gym? Maybe any of the stuff that I’ve been doing? I’m so in love with my life. I don’t even care about dating right now, I’m being true to every friend and even foe that I encounter as best as I can, and I don’t feel like I’m “looking” for a relationship at all. It’s not my goal to meet people that I might like, that I might wanna fuck or might wanna date, I don’t really think about it. And no I’m not like anti-dating right now, I’m just living life and focusing on myself and letting my interactions with people be real and in the moment and choosing to live instead of worrying. At this point, I’d say I’m worrying just enough.
And now I’m here a day later. I’m content again, and having a good time. We went on a trip with my stepmom and all got pierced, and we smoked blunts and bowls on the way. It was awesome! I see the purity of these people and I’m honored. Meditation, resistance training, jump roping, kombucha, kora organics noni glow, those are all the things that are shaping my life so beautifully.
I’m not envious of other’s lives and I’m not jealous over other lies, I’m not comparing myself to anyone. I’m just improving myself. People come and go sure but they can’t take my inner peace.
THIS IS HOW LIFE SHOULD BE.