Sunshine

I think the sun just told me it’s feeling insecure. I was bewildered and was like….But sun, you shine brighter than anything this world has ever seen. Your rays of light travel so far, you’re what makes the summer a summer. Sometimes I want to put my hand up against you, but I can’t, because you are a brightly burning star that doesn’t have simple 2 dimensional walls to enclose it. The closer I get, the more that I’m blinded, but I’m honored to feel the heat until it burns. I’m honored to be recognized with what lights up my life. What starts my day. What keeps me warm. It doesn’t even matter if I get too close and I feel a burn, because your days are already so beautiful and sharp that I feel like they tattoo my heart everytime you turn towards me. I feel you, I feel your radiance, I feel your beauty, and maybe that isn’t enough for you, maybe you wish you were a planet. But none of the stars could ever be a planet, and all of them just want to be you. Planets are full of people with random opinions but the sun is consistent, every single day. Every single day of my life I wake up to see you there, burning brightly, and my heart warms at the sight of you even in the winter snow. It’s funny actually… I was talking to a friend of mine who is just another hollow shell, but she mentioned how she wanted to go snowboarding. I grabbed my SPF for her and she was so confused, because of the crystals falling from the sky rather than the hottest rays burning through flesh. It was silly that she didn’t realize that the sun reflects off of the snow, and yes, even on the coldest days if you don’t feel the suns heat, you’ll acknowledge that it’s there and it’s burning just as brightly as ever, no matter how many inches of ice coat it. She then asked my why I didn’t want any of the SPF. I told her it’s because I love to stare at the sun…I love to put my hands toward the heat, and cry as I realize how alive it is. I like to lay there and stare at the beauty, stare at all the rainbows it causes and all of the miracles it raises. I don’t want to be protected from the sun. You can live your life with your sunscreen and your snowboarding and your everyday life, but somehow I’m able to stare into the burning ball of beauty and feel no pain. Because just like me, the sun doesn’t have nerves, tendons, bones…The sun isn’t mortal. The sun is pretty eternal, and I NEVER would have realized that I’m immortal without the sun showing me the beauty of all things outside of just a human life. I’m so damn lucky that I get to be in the presence of the sun, learning from it and laughing with it. Nobody on earth was chosen to be in it’s direct presence, they just had to admire from afar. But as my humanity melted away, I became so much stronger. She taught me that there’s so much more to life than being human. We talk all about these things that I’ve never seen another human truly be able to understand. I never in my life would’ve realized that I’m an ever growing star without the privilege of being taught by such a beauty. Not only did she teach me so much about who I am, but she helped me get to where I am now. And now everyday I look at the sun, and now that I finally went past my human eyes, I can emit my own light so that somewhere on earth someone will see me shine, while I get the honor of accompanying the sun in its immortal journey of….everything beyond life. This isn’t a life, this is existence. And she taught me how to make it shine. Limitlessly.

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