Inattention Camp

As I walk through my place of casual fruition, I find a key to seven doors: The door to happiness, the door to darkness, the world of ecstasy, the world of collection, the world of inattention, the brightness of dawn and the harmony of the masses. Let me break it down to you, the mall is my sanctity, and the expendable cash I have filling my purse is definitely ecstasy. Sometimes I’ll open the wrong door and get sucked into a terrifying world that I originally thought would be filled with candy, but that doesn’t mean all the other doors are the same. It doesn’t mean all the other doors are horrific, and just because all of them are unmarked doesn’t mean what lies beyond isn’t instinctively diverse. The way the red sea knows what the blue skies throw but that doesn’t mean the trees are any less green…

Well you see, the door to happiness leads to my favorite part of the mall: the high-end fashion and beauty. The moment of truth is when I unlock this door and find brands like Yves Saint Laurent, Nasty Gal (even though only one store currently exists) and Jeffree Star (we’ll pretend they’re not only online) and the fruit of this tree is my favorite way to prosper. However, sometimes I’ll accidentally unlock the door to darkness…

The door to darkness unleashes a darkness that is more horrific than anything I could ever dream of. I unlocked the door the moment I lost my love, and out flew bats carrying grenades and witches throwing knives in a more-skilled manner than Guinness World Records has ever seen. But the thing is, even though the door flew off the hinge into the darkness and there’s no way to cover any of it up, there are still other doors that exist. When I lost her I was so focused on the door of darkness that I forgot I had the potential/the key to unlock so many other doors. Lots of sobbing occurred until I was able to open the door of ecstasy…

The door of ecstasy is not only flanked with lots of drugs and plenty of MDMA, but it’s also flanked with the gorgeous highlighters from Anastasia Beverly Hills, Jeffree Star Cosmetics, Becca Cosmetics etc. and when I’m glowing cheek to cheek I forget that the other doors surround me, hovering in a blur. Speaking of blur, this door is filled with entertainment like Britney Spears, Seether, Korn, Christina Aguilera and more. Britney’s song Blur is accompanied by all her hit singles and only the best unreleased tracks. I look around me in the swirling noise and no matter how many drugs I take, I never quite forget how thankful I am for my personality. That leads me to the door of collection…

I don’t know how many of you know this, but I definitely love collecting. My favorite thing to collect is CDs, and man am I passionate about it! Sometimes I get lost in this door, deeply engulfed in every artist/genre/country etc of these fabulous treasures, and it’s so easy to tune out the rest of the world. My favorite artist to collect is Britney Spears and I have 70+ CDs of her and it is the best thing ever. There’s so much depth to my love for Britney and the rest.

The world of inattention is actually pretty hilarious. While I’m working on my collection I get distracted by the world of happiness and then the world of darkness tries to suck me back in, but no matter what jumbled mess I’m sucked into I’m always just so glad to be alive. I do have some odd ADHD but it doesn’t get me down too much, because I’m still more privileged than most teens. HA!

The brightness of dawn is a beautiful place where the sun always rises, and even in a world so dark that I live in there’s still always hope for dawn and it’s empowering. No matter what I do, no matter what happens to me, dawn always comes, brightening every aspect of my thoughts and dreams and life.

Sometimes when I’m walking through the mall I not only am so grateful for all the great places but I can observe the masses and their harmony as if it were my own. I see them laugh and smile, cry and fret, but in the end there’s a happiness that only something like Starbucks can supply or even a place like Wal-Mart welcomes. (Wal-Mart sucks though). The masses are so happy doing their thang and even if they’re all so generic and cookie-cutter, they still amuse me and I definitely can’t live without the thought that I’m so much better than them. Lol

Too many doors, so much craziness, sometimes thing are hard but there really is so much beauty around me. I’ll just wake and bake then dive into all my passions at dawn, remembering who I am and why I’m still here. And nobody can take that away from me.

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