I think there’s a lot to be worried about these days. My vast profile of pain and health issues, the “people” who broke my trust, my lack of direction and drive, my absolute lack of motivation in general; it’s kind of stupid. But I’m not here to complain, a lot of people think I’m complaining in the times that I state what’s happening in my life. I guess that just means my life sucks so much that it seems like nobody could be discussing these things in an uncomplainingly way, hahaha. Nah, don’t get me wrong I’m rich in lists of complaints, however I like to talk about everything and I like to sometimes talk about things seriously. Other times I use “negative” things in a lighthearted way because it makes me laugh… Not a lot of people think it’s funny. But, either way, I am who I am, no matter how mortifying my jokes are or how many times I stomp my feet and cry… People say I’m conceited, but honestly you have to be pretty freaking confident if you were to live my life and wanted to STAY alive. So many rocks are thrown at me, a lot of them are just rock fights in my brain, and it takes a big toll on someone’s self worth and hope in the world. I know I’m awesome even if I’m the only one who sees it, and that right there is the only thing steering me towards fun events and great people rather than crying on the bathroom floor, basking in my sorrows. That’s not a road I’m going to take again… I’ve grown up from that. I think I just really grew up, and it surprises me how much self-sabotage/teenage rebellion could occur in this town, when even though it’s hard to take a step back and COMPLETELY change your perspective, yet still it be possible.
I’ve earned my trophy, this confidence, and I’ve earned this maturity. There may be some readers like “what are you talking about you’re an immature idiot” that’s a nice thought, but, I’ve been living my life for nearly 17 years now and from the custom perspective I’ve viewed it from, I am more mature than any minor I know at the moment. Maybe it makes me immature just for saying that, but I come from this candy land full of gum drops and run-on sentences and I’m allowed to say my makeup is better than these Maybelline dum-dums and I’m more dynamic in every way possible than these main-stream trilobites. Nah truth is I choose to believe I reign in some way over my pupils, that way it gets the need to feud off my brain so I can sit here drinking my peppermint tea while I type, wishing I had three hands. One thing I’m not wishing is to be associating with the stoners who don’t care about anything other than pot, or the people who are too oblivious to know about anything other than anime (no offense to anyone reading, I just don’t like anime. At all. At all). I think this entire post is garbage and I’m laughing at how superficial and dumb I’m being but hey, I turn 17 in exactly one week, so I had to post something. Right? Right. Nah I probably didn’t, however I’m still convinced that if I post enough through my life, people will realize I’m more lovable than I am hate-able and I’ll finally be understood on a level where I can be my confusing and blunt self. Don’t smoke blunts, BE blunt! That’s my new motto. Jk that’s been my motto every year except 2014. Have a good Abby’s-last-week-of-being-16 week long celebration!
PS – Did I forget to mention? I saw The Neighbourhood on October 21st; Marina and the Diamonds on October 25th; plus I was VIP at Seether’s concert on October 28th so I got to see their early soundcheck (featured pic on this post is a picture of all of us VIPs and Seether @ the soundcheck, although they were only standard VIP) plus I got early entrance so I was front row to see Saint Asonia and then got to meet them, and finally since I had a side stage pass I got to stand practically right next to Seether as they performed; it was only me and 4 other people. I practically got to meet the band because they briefly said a few things to us between the songs, and Dale came over to fist-bump us all. Completely uncrowded, best seat in the house. Best concert experience I’ve ever had. So I guess to sum up the past couple of months, they were AWESOME despite the small stuff. Fun fun!