Break-Up Spew

Sometimes odd things happen. Twists in life throw you off balance, shining moonlight on new opportunities but burning your skin with what you thought was just a beautiful beam of light. It wasn’t though. Feeling that depressed should never happen. No matter how much I wrote about her, no matter how many times I dropped everything for myself just to help her do something. And then now what? What is this? Ungratefulness and also just very cruel. It’s not cruel that it’s over. It’s cruel that I finally started getting somewhere in life so you went right back to being exactly what broke and destroyed you before. Maybe you’re drunk, maybe you’re high, maybe you’re going to trip again, and in all those moments you think you’ve won. It’s so ridiculous. So yeah I’m upset about it. I’m not pretending like I’m cool being all “I’m not even sad about it”. Bullshit. You will be. And so will I. Because I ACTUALLY gave a fuck about you. A week ago you talked about how in love you are with me and that you wanted to get through everything with me, and then suddenly I get upset about you hanging with your bad influences and that’s enough for you to snap and say you LOVE(D) me. I still love you. But I deserve so much more than this. Have fun spending everyday getting so fucked up that you wake up in the middle of the night in the woods. Have fun prostituting yourself like you did when we were still dating. Maybe this will hurt, but dang, don’t worry. It won’t take long to get over this. Like I’ve said so often…You wanted to play, but I’ve already won. 🙂 ….And you know that’s true. You know that I have more personality in my wrist than you have in the most sober version of yourself. So there you have it. There’s the response you wanted.

Rant. Rambles. Song of the day: Burn It Down by Linkin Park.

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